Twenty two days,
A mili second.
In a swirl, decision moment is already here knocking.
Did I make a web of my thoughts all these days?
Well, did I remember to switch off the lights that flickers in my eyes as people, they talk and talk?
It’s a cry for help, did I even pull out the scribbled notes from comic book, page 57?
Ofcourse I wouldn’t have forgotten putting the mesh of confusions and the broken bits of uncertainty to bed?
Or did I?
“I was waiting for you, decision moment”, I murmur as I pull out my longest coat and put on my heels.
“Now it can wait”, I murmur putting on 3 different shades of blush-on, changing my scarf 10 times and just the right amount of lipstick. Maybe.
It’s a sway to the right and a few to the left and I reach for the door.
Eyes half open, mind half closed. Heart working just fine, my guts exploding.
Decision moment looks terrible, a scrap of blue paint with a ton of failures scratched over.
Worn out clothes from wandering in the sun too long, a shoe that doesn’t match with the other, socks that are bright grey and a tie that smells of the stagnation of a life I have dragged on too long.
As terrible as it is, decision moment looks familiar too. A strange kind of green that is always lighter than the others.
We have been standing a bit too long in the doorway, I think I also forgot to put on the new covers of surity on my blanket of doubts.
I hope decision moment makes-do with uncovered blankets.
I hope he doesn’t know my face anymore or the way I talk when I get really interrogative.
I hope he doesn’t ask for the same things, again.
I hope he walks away and accepts the gift I carefully wrapped in satin sheets making a pattern of waves for the end.
I think he knows, he’s been looking for a question and I might have fumbled an impulsive answer to shoo him away.
I think today I escaped decision moment, or did I?
I think today I forgot to look in the mirror before reaching for the door.
I think today decision moment will burn his tongue again.
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About the Author:
Constantly shifting from super energetic to unimaginably lazy while watching Sherlock episodes all day. I’m an enthusiast for good food, great music, enthralling conversations and of course, beautiful literature. Trying to make a difference, one word and one place at a time.